Billingham

You know someone named Arsenio Billingham? No.

June 30, 2009

Compromising WAS a good idea

Obama wants to get people working together on abortion - both pro-life and pro-choice groups - by passing legislation that reduces the need for abortion rather limiting its availability.  It’s a demand-side approach, rather than the right-wing preference of banning suppliers.  (Or shooting them.)

In any case, the idea is that if we teach comprehensive sex ed, make contraception widely available and well-used, and support pregnant women and make adoption easier, we can have fewer abortions, and everyone wins, right?

Wrong:

But more conservative religious groups working with the White House Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships say they would be forced to oppose such a plan—even though they support the abortion reduction part—because they oppose federal dollars for contraception and comprehensive sex education.

The Southern Baptist Coalition and the Council of Catholic Bishops are leading the charge here, so this is no fringe movement, and it reinforces again the idea that while many people are ambivalent about abortion, the real heart of the pro-life movement isn’t thinking about fetuses, they’re thinking of sex.

Posted by: Arsenio Billingham

Crazy Religious Gay Bashing: Not Just For Christians Any More

David Klinghoffer is a closeted homosexual, and therefore believes gay marriage should be banned.

Well, sure, he doesn’t *say* that, but it’ll be evident.  Let’s look at it:

Why be bothered if a nation chooses to officially sanction any combination of lovers that may please its citizens — man and woman, man and man, woman and woman? Who gets hurt?

Ultimately, women do

 Say what?

 feminism and homosexuality are on a collision course.

Huh?  Well, to work it out, let’s see the full sentence:

To see how these ancient writings demonstrate that feminism and homosexuality are on a collision course, we need to first take a step back and consider the end-game of the gay and lesbian movement. The immediate aim is to win in the courts. But the ultimate aim is to win over the culture: to arrive at a day when homoeroticism is fully accepted.

Yeah, this is definitely going to make sense and be relevant, considering that ancient writings have lots to say about the history of feminism, which is barely a meaningful word when talking about writings before the 19th century.

 But in any case, let’s see what there is to fear of a day when homoeroticism is fully accepted.  I’ll note here that by opposing not only gay marriage, but ‘acceptance of homoeroticism’ this author is really opposed to the continued existance of gays and lesbians, and right in time for Pride Week!

Let’s fast-forward the video-tape and see what that day would look like. Johnny, a teenager, has pals who date boys and pals who date girls. In the movies, on billboards, Johnny sees depictions of men in love with men and of men in love with women. Johnny admires the picture in his principal’s office of the principal and his husband on their honeymoon. In this day, no one uses the word "homosexual" anymore, in just the same way that today no one uses the word "negro" — it’s so laden with the baggage of yesteryear’s bigotry. In fact, in this day, no one makes a big deal about sexual orientation at all. Johnny knows that when he seeks intimacy he is free to choose a blonde, a brunette, a Latina, a Phillipino, a guy, a girl; it’s all cool. Free choice and tolerance take the day.

THE HORROR!  DUM DUM DUMM!!!!  Sorry, I have no idea what’s wrong with this paragraph, Johnny seems like a happy enough kid except for the fact that apprently, he’s in trouble and has been called to the principal’s office.

 

Johnny is shocked to discover that the percentage of men who were sexually interested in other men stood only in the single digits. He is shocked because everyone he knows engages in this regularly.

Sorry, that’s the scary part - if we let anybody be gay, apparently, EVERYBODY will get some same-sex action regularly.

 

Because of what you read in the the writers of imperial Rome

Ah-ha.  That’s why this situation is inevitable, because of what you read in the works of the ancient Romans.  

Some people are indeed homoerotic by nature. But others, as Aristotle noted, develop this as an acquired passion.

I’m sorry, where did Aristotle live?

Men, we learn from ancient Rome, will enjoy sex with other men, if there is no social censure.

Now we’re getting to the good stuff:  apparently, all men want to fuck other men, and it’s only homophobia that’s keeping us straight.  He then quotes Catallus and tells us that really, it’s worse than that:

once they’ve experienced sex with other men, Catullus tells us, men are unsatisfied with what their new wives provide them.

Whuuuuuuuuhhhh?

But in any case, we’re not yet at the really fun, sensible part.  He talks about how this is great for gay men, who now pick up all these awesome new, formerly-straight sex partners, but there’s a catch:

 

Of note here is that this expanded pool of partners accrues to gay men, but not to homosexual women. At the risk of getting too explicit, I leave it the reader’s basic grasp of anatomy to figure out why in ancient Rome a man who found pleasure in a woman, could also find pleasure in a man, while the record shows that a heterosexual woman rarely found sexual satisfaction in the company of another woman. 

 So in addition, mind you, to finding homosexuality itself abhorrent, he also believes that lesbianism is impossible because women don’t have penises.

And so, he goes on to proclaim the collapse of the nuclear family and all society, because men will only fuck other men while women die of the phallic DTs. See?  No religious argument necessary!

 And that, kids, is why liberals believe that most anti-gay conservatives are closeted.  Because remarkably, no straight men imagine a day when they can be free to be gay. 

Posted by: Arsenio Billingham

June 29, 2009

Old Timers

From Trent Green’s guest spot on Monday Morning QB:

 6) I think, actually I know, that Mark Brunell is the last quarterback standing from the 1993 draft class. He’s outlasted Drew Bledsoe (No. 1 overall), Rick Mirer (No. 2), Billy Joe Hobert (No. 58), Gino Toretta (No. 192), Alex Van Pelt (No. 216), Elvis Grbac (No. 219) and me (No. 222). Keep going, Mark! I’ll be pulling for you.

 It’s one thing to imagine old man Brunell getting into another NFL game (in case you’re wondering, it’d be with the Saints) but the other is to imagine that, but for the grace of God, we might have to face Drew Bledsoe, Rick Mirer, Billy Joe Hobert, Alex Van Pelt, and Elvis Grbac still rolling around in the NFL.  Grbac retired 8 years ago.

Posted by: Arsenio Billingham

Don’t put Bobby in the corner

Here’s a scary thought:

Bobby Jindal, who young enough that he could run for president in 2040 and be younger than John McCain was in 2008.

Emphasis added.  From here.

Posted by: Arsenio Billingham

The Single Greatest Post Title of All Time

I’ll Do Anything For Love but I Won’t Douthat.

 Unfortunately, it’s two months old, but you can apply to any time Ross Douthat opens his mouth.  Like his column today.

Posted by: Arsenio Billingham

New Poster!

We’re adding a second poster here at Billingham, which means that I’m going to need to get more specific:  posts by me, the erstwhile "Billingham" are now signed "Arsenio Billingham."

 The new guy will add a different perspective to the blog:  hardcore-liberal, never-say-die Bills fan.  As opposed to my never-say-die liberalism and hardcore Bills fandom.

He’ll be posting as "Thurman Billingham"

Posted by: Arsenio Billingham

Eli Lehrer for Campaign Manager

Yes, Mr. Lehrer is taking the side of the underserved, the reviled, and the otherwise oppressed.  He’s a fighter for the people, or at least, a person.  One man.

 Bernie Madoff.

Why?

Something close to 12-year sentence his defense attorney recommended is pretty reasonable.

I should note that there is a 15 to life penalty for selling up to two ounces of cocaine.  

No high-living investment manager wants to spend any time in prison and the certainty of any sentence for fraud provides sufficient deterrence.

Ah yes.  The fact that Madoff is rich and happy means that he really, really doesn’t want to go to jail, so any amount of prison time is sufficient.  Like Paris and Lindsay’s sentences, measured in hours instead of years.  Because those two high-living ladies certainly viewed their brief prison sentences as sufficient deterrence to return to a healthy, normal life.

Nearly all sophisticated white-collar criminals operate on the basis that they are too smart to get caught.

Unlike poor criminals, who realize they’re too dumb to get caught?  Drug dealers figure they’re too smart to get caught.  Bank robbers figure they’re too smart to get caught.  Hell, the guys who stole the ATM in Barbershop probably figured they wouldn’t get caught.  What is this shit?

His life expectancy is 13 years and the rigors of prison life — particularly for a man used to living at the height of luxury — hardly seem likely to extend that.

Again with the argument that prison is extra-bad, even in short doses, for rich white guys.  Unlike poor black guys, who, as the right-wing argues, look forward to going to prison and require us to reform prisons to make them tougher.

Read the whole thing - it’s a trainwreck.

Posted by: Arsenio Billingham

Madoff sentencing

He gets 150 years.  I’m not sure exactly how that works, but in case you were wondering, he will be freed in the year 2159 if he goes to prison tomorrow.  According to wikipedia, this is the setting of the game-boy game Solar Striker, and is 9 years after the 2150 Dalek invasion of Earth.

Posted by: Arsenio Billingham

June 25, 2009

Well

Evidently, if you search for "busty Mannequin suit" in Japan you get direct towards…

 Your old friend Mr. Billingham.  

See?

http://www.google.co.jp/search?hl=ja&rlz=1T4GGIH_jaJP279JP280&ei=FfFDSo2sEYiBkQWCxPG1Dw&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=Busty%20MANNEQUIN%20Suit&spell=1

 

That’s how at least one visitor made it to the site.  If there are more coming, let me say konichiwa.

Posted by: Arsenio Billingham

A Supreme Court Victory

The settled law is that you can no longer order a strip search of teenage girls for ibuprofen with some vague suspicions.  Seems like it wouldn’t be the most difficult thing in the world to agree on, but hey, this is America.  Notable right-wing justices Antonin Scalia, John Roberts, and Samuel Alito were all on board with the majority opinion, but unfortunately, it wasn’t unanimous:  Clarence Thomas decided to come down on the side of the school and say there was no constitutional problem here at all.

Some clips from the opinions:

Souter’s official opinion:

Because there were no reasons to suspect the drugs presented a danger or were concealed in her underwear, we hold that the search did violate the Constitution

 Both key parts of the ruling:  the note here is that Souter is saying that since we’re talking painkillers and not ecstacy, there’s a different standard for constitutional justification.  And that of course, makes a lot of sense:  schools still have a lot of zero-tolerance policies on drugs and weapons, and they inevitably lead to these big ugly cases where a kid is strip-searched for some freaking Advil, or suspended for a butter knife to go with their lunch. 

Now, I think that even for more dangerous drugs, a reasonable expectation of privacy can still go on - every kid with suspicions of drug use doesn’t abandon all privacy during the schoolday.  But what’s important here is that the Court is giving schools back the responsibility to distinguish between threat and safety, and closing down a part of the system that gave us schools so eager to cover themselves that they instituted Kim-Jong Il style policies.

And as for needed specific information of drugs concealed in underwear, well, that’s a good ruling as well.  It may seem like this just tells kids how to hide their stash, but you know what?  I’d rather live in a country where kids got high occasionally on weed that had spent the day in their ass crack than one where kids had to expose said ass-crack on demand of school officials.  

    This suspicion of Wilson’s was enough to justify a search of Savana’s backpack and outer clothing.3 If a student is reasonably suspected of giving out contraband pills, she is reasonably suspected of carrying them on her person and in the carryall that has become an item of student uniform in most places today. If Wilson’s reasonable suspicion of pill distribution were not understood to support searches of outer clothes and backpack, it would not justify any search worth making. And the look into Savana’s bag, in her presence and in the relative privacy of Wilson’s office, was not excessively intrusive, any more than Romero’s subsequent search of her outer clothing.

 Souter’s keeping his decision limited here:  the argument made is there was enough suspicion to justify a search of pockets and bags based on another student saying "I got these pills from this kid."  This is more about building a sense of what the 4th amendement protects, and affirming that your right to dignity on your person extends even further than your rights to be free of searches generally.  There’s something legally worse about strip searches than bag searches, and while that’s always been the case, it’s nice to see it confirmed.

Savana’s subjective expectation of privacy against such a search is inherent in her account of it as embarrassing, frightening, and humiliating. The reasonableness of her expectation (required by the Fourth Amendment standard) is indicated by the consistent experiences of other young people similarly searched, whose adolescent vulnerability intensifies the patent intrusiveness of the exposure.

I love the smell of empathy in the morning.  When you hear the Rushes of the world talk about how empathy isn’t a key factor in determining the law, they’re lying (or just stupid, probably.)  When the Court has to judge the subjective expectation of privacy in terms of what is embarassing, frightening, or humiliating, it actually requires thinking about how someone else feels.  The law requires this, and again, even conservative justices are backing this portion of the decision.  It’s that easy.

Changing for gym is getting ready for play; exposing for a search is responding to an accusation reserved for suspected wrongdoers and fairly understood as so degrading that a number of communities have decided that strip searches in schools are never reasonable and havebanned them no matter what the facts maybe

Thank God Souter trashes that "well, kids are used to being undressed because of gym, so they void all rights to privacy" bullshit.

Petitioners suggest, as a truth universally acknowledged, that “students … hid[e] contraband in or under their clothing,” Reply Brief for Petitioners 8, and cite a smattering of cases of students with contraband in their underwear, id., at 8–9. But when the categorically extreme intrusiveness of a search down to the body of an adolescent requires some justification in suspected facts, general background possibilities fall short; a reasonable search that extensive calls for suspicion that it will pay off.

I like this privacy guarantee too:  the school’s argument that hiding contraband in their underwear is just something kids do, therefore, we can search any kid is such a huge, sweeping claim that it deserved to be shot down.  This isn’t like claiming ‘terrorists hide bombs in their underwear, so we can have strip searches at maximum security prisons,’ this is like claiming ‘Arabs hide bombs in their underwear, so we can strip search them at airports.’ 

The meaning of such a search, and the degradation its subject may reasonably feel, place a search that intrusive in a category of its own demanding its own specific suspicions.

Nothing really new, just more empathy.

So that’s Souter.  What about the arguments coming from the losing side, the army of one man against student privacy, Clarence Thomas:

This deep intrusion into the administration of public schools exemplifies why the Court should return to the common-law doctrine of in loco parentis under which “the judiciary was reluctant to interfere in the routine business of school administration, allowing schools and teachers to set and enforce rules and to maintain order

Thomas doesn’t really think that students have any rights in school, it seems, or at least, wants to limit their redress to the courts.  Strip searches seem like they would fall a little bit outside the routine business of school administration, but evidently, Thomas thinks they should be par for the course; not only legal in specific cases, but in fact, generally available as an option for school administrators without any major legal standard.

A “search of a student by a teacher or other school official will be ‘justified at its inception’ when there are reasonable grounds for suspecting that the search will turn up evidence that the student has violated or is violating either the law or the rules of the school.” T. L. O., supra, at 341–342 (footnote omitted). As the majority rightly concedes, this search was justified at its inception because there were reasonable grounds to suspect that Redding possessed medication that violated school rules.

Thomas spends a big chunk of his opinion talking about how generally, a search would be okay under the 4th amendment before gradually getting to the point about the strip search.  Nobody’s really arguing about the justification of a search of bags for drugs in this circumstance, just the degrading nature of the search involved.  So he’s just sort of stalling here.

Thomas goes on to cite the majority’s reasoning as to why this wasn’t an extraordinary circumstance (pills not that dangerous, not that many in question, etc.) and then dismiss it:

Each of these additional requirements is an unjustifiable departure from bedrock Fourth Amendment law in the school setting, where this Court has heretofore read the Fourth Amendment to grant considerable leeway to school officials. Because the school officials searched in a location where the pills could have been hidden, the search was reasonable in scope under T. L. O.

He’s arguing that just because it’s possible to hide pills in your crotch, the school has a right to search your crotch, period.  As long as there’s enough suspicion for a search at all, you have no special protections against abject humiliation. 

Nor will she be the last after today’s decision, which announces the safest place to secrete contraband in school.

Yep, he’s worried about a plague of students smuggling painkillers in their underwear.  Like I said above:  I’d rather live in a nation with students smoking ass-crack weed than a nation where students were required to present their ass-cracks for inspection.

And of course, note that Thomas draws no distinction between illegal drugs (marijuana), school contraband (Advil), and dangerous narcotics (crack cocaine).  It seems reasonable to draw the conclusion that Thomas believes that if a school banned swear words, students could be strip-searched for ass tattoos.

 But don’t let me put words into his mouth:

In such an environment, something as simple as a “water pistol or peashooter can wreak [havoc] until it is taken away.” Ibid. The danger posed by unchecked distribution and consumption of prescription pills by students certainly needs no elaboration.

Looks like strip searches are okay for water pistols and peashooters as well. 

And our esteemed judge even has a way for students and parents to object to policies they don’t like:

Restoring the common-law doctrine of in loco parentis would not, however, leave public schools entirely free to impose any rule they choose. “If parents do not like the rules imposed by those schools, they can seek redress in school boards or legislatures; they can send their children to private schools or home school them; or they can simply move.”

Just move!  That’s a straightforward and easy way to resolve a problem with school administration that every family can easily take care of.  The message here is that the courts do not protect the rights of students.  Period.

Luckily for us this time, even Scalia and Alito don’t give teenagers the ass-end of the Constitution that blithely.

Posted by: Arsenio Billingham

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